Okay. I feel like I'm ready to commit to this.

- Two sausages (NOT some fancy shit, just some good thick ones).

- Two rashers of bacon, cooked crispy until they shatter with a fork. Bonus points if fried in maple syrup.

- Fried egg, atop a fried slice.

- Heinz beans. Get tae fuck with your other brands.

- Fried mushrooms.

- Grilled tomato. I WOULD say plum, but I already have beans there and the juice is going to completely fuck up the 'solids' so we'll stick with grilled.

- Black pudding. It's the wildcard option, but it's so good.

I'm also going to add in a scrambled egg, ALONGSIDE a fried one. I know that's contentious, but I need it.

Salt.

Black coffee.

Done?