Hello Job Seekers allowance,

Hello credit failing when you try and re-schedule an appointment,

Hello Income Support and Housing Benefits,

Hello non-eligibility for those listed above,

Hello karate kicks to 2 litres of piss while you say ''Hello'' to the lady at Job Seekers, Portsmouth,

Hello plates and your 2 week old pizza scabs,

Hello bedsheets that smell like a nativity scene,

Hello failing hygeine,

Hello end of University,

Hello feelings of doubt and ''why did I quit?'',

Hello 4 pints at lunchtime and '' should have used that money to fund phone credit'',

Hello internet connection,

Goodbye internet connection,

HELLO internet connection,

Goodbye internet connection,

Hello Danny Dyer at ''Liquid'',

Goodbye Danny Dyer at ''Liquid'',

Hello punching of cupboards and shouting at walls,

Hello 20p,

Goodbye 20p,

Hello.

(...and to think it's only been 2 weeks...pfffftttt)