The worst film I've seen at the cinema this year. I like poncey French films that teach you quiet things about life, but I like watching fuck-off huge monsters duke it out and things explode just as much, and this pile of shit didn't even deliver in the mindless fun leagues. It was so god-awful that I even began to resent the fact that I got to look at Gemma Arteton, or whoever you spell her name, for the best part of 90 minutes.

Can't think of anything good to say about it. If you can, do so and I will forcefully argue with you.