Chelsea win the Prem in about as emphatic a way as you can imagine. Doubles over all the 'Big Four', golden boot winner up front, over 100 goals scored, pretty tough to argue with.

Jamie Redknapp hammers Drogba for arguing with his bestest friend Frankie over a penalty and Geoff Shreeves conducts a few strangely awkward on-pitch interviews. Malouda seems like a really enjoyable chap.

United give Stoke a bit of a bumming to no avail, Rooney hurts himself a bit, nation holds its breath.

Arsenal secure 3rd with the most half arsed 4-0 you're ever likely to see in front of a half empty ground even though I couldn't get a ticket because the match was 'sold out'. Wankers.

Spurs take a 2-0 lead against Burnley before losing 4-2, reminding everyone in the process that they are still the same old Tottenham.

City draw 1-1 at Wham with Tevez milking the home crowd dry, Zola's last game? Probably.

Liverpool finish the season with a 0-0 against Hull, which seems about right, Rafa's last game? Hopefully not.

Gerrard to City for £40m? Really?

Mancini think's 'Arry's best mate Bellamy will stay at City. Really?

Wenger says Walcott's in Capello's 30. Really?

Newcastle don't have any money. Really.