THEM:

Hi u ok?

ME:

Heya, long time! I am
cool, did far too much
exercise this weekend
so am convalescing
right now! You dandy?
x

THEM:

No am ur nighbur

THEM:

U know now who I am?

ME:

Um...no, your number
is not saved! Thought
you were a childhood
friend.

THEM:

K wat u doin?

ME:

Sitting at home,
listening to music. What
are you doing? L

THEM:

U wana com out for a
bit?

ME:

Yeah why not, where
are you? Dont want to
travel too far. Also I
still dont quite know
who you are?

THEM:

U know who i am?

ME:

Just tell me! In case
you have the wrong
number, I am Louis

THEM:

Wer DO u live?
in scotil Near noor hair
cuter?

ME:

No.

THEM:

Its hamba?

ME:

Alas, O Hamba! I never
knew thee.

THEM:

Can u tel me Wer DO
live if u dont mind?

ME:

Lee, SE London

THEM:

U know i c u last tym i
take u 2 hudsfield park
on sayureday if am still
wron den sory

ME:

Apology accepted.

THEM:

I fink u make me fool

*my phone rings with an ex-directory number, I say "Hello", there is no answer, fin*