Current 'crisp' selection in my local vending machine:

Walkers ready salted - congratulations! The most boring crisps in the world. Edible though I suppose

Doritos tangy cheese - if you MUST have doritos, at least give me chili heatwave you prick

'Roots' vegetable crisps - what the hell are these? Are they even crisps? Oven-baked beetroot slices or some shit. Fuck off.

'Cofresh' Chili and lemon potato grills - potato grills? Chili and lemon??? I have no idea what's going on here but I'm not about to find out.

That's IT. No other choices. I defy you to find a worse selection anywhere. Maybe Canada I guess.