Thanks to maths being hard, I walked out of Halfords last night having paid £170 for a bike that was advertised as £270 (minus a 10% discount). Obviously since I'm Scottish I had to leave sharpish before the fact that I'd jizzed in my pants from being given free money gave me away.

And you?

(Also, that saying about never forgetting how to ride a bike is bollocks. I nearly wrapped the fucking thing round a bollard on the ride home. Twice.)