I'll go first. Bearded, ale-loving alcoholic, 30-something, anti-Radiohead, anti-Manic-Street-Preachers, left-wing, upper-lower-middle-class Independent readers with thick-rimmed glasses, black or brown or graying curly hair, stoic, expressionless faces, strong moral values, 1st class degrees with honours in either politics, economics or sociology and comfortable office jobs as a result.

Your turn.