and everytime they upload a photo of themselves to Facebook or Instagram or something they write a caption describing what's going on but in the third person, as though they're in the Daily Mail sidebar.

Some lad called Darren gets his mate to take a photo of him coming out a restaurant or something and then Darren uploads the photo and writes this caption himself

"Toasty? Darren was seemingly unphased by the weekend's warm weather - spotted here leaving Yates bar on Sunday in a dazzling silk shawl"