Mary Berry's hands have been cloned multiple times and glued to the walls. A baby giant panda does that sneezing thing that makes its mother jump. Paul Hollywood is heard laughing. "Did you like that Mary? I look like I'm about to start line dancing at any given moment."

A buttered scone presents itself atop an oak dining table. Inside is a tiny manuscript detailing the plans for a redesign of The Manchester Arndale. Everything stinks of bubblegum. A party political broadcast for the conservation of burrowing ants takes place at the BP garage down yonder.

"I think this calls for a forecourt barbecue."