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A 48-year-old chef from Reno, Nevada, is suing Sting, claiming that he helped write two of The Police’s biggest selling hits.

Roy Smith wants his dues for inspiring ‘Roxanne’ and ‘Message in a Bottle’. Which seems fair enough, considering he talked to the singer in a Reno restaurant sometime in the 70s about an ex called Roxanne who was, in fact, on the game and a message he once gave to his mum in a bottle.

Which seems fair enough, especially when you consider that Sting has already tried to call Smith, presumably to apologise for lifting things said in an actual conversation for use in a pop song. Unfortunately that message was not passed on by Smith’s mother, not because she can only accept messages enclosed in bottles, but because she thought it was the real police looking to apprehend her son.

Which seems fair enough.

Anyway, despite Smith passing a lie detector test, Sting’s lawyers have rejected the claims and local police have declared it a civil matter. More on this when we get it, rapt eyes.