Alice had her looking glass but I just need a speaker stack and to wash my face with cold water, to rinse away the strife of everyday life. Deep breath. In to the icy water I go… I open my eyes, expecting just the gentle burn of chlorine but WOAH!!! Into a brave never-neverland I tumble. The journey through a world of fire, begins. Serpents. Thrashing. Women in leather. Raw sex wounds. Naked men. NOISE! Melodies. Distorted Latino vibrations to summon vixens. A pocket full of space biscuits. Thud, help me mummy! Thud. HELP! A crash to awake the crooked-eyed dwarves in bubbling green sewage pools. Harmonies. Bearded wizards stir cauldrons. Puss. Hiss. Mould crawls up the barking walls of my cave. And more NOIZE!! I tingle. I hide behind my fingers. I love it when music does this to me…

The Queens are back, honey! On first listen I really wasn’t sure if this was anywhere near living upto the hype, not that the fact Dave ‘each hand slightly out of time, yet perfectly in time with the other’ Grohl is on drums shouldn't really matter. Oh no, not at all. And not that their last epic rock monster ‘Rated R’ was the (rock cliché alert) seminal kick up the flabby ass that music needed a few years back. And now, ’Songs for the Deaf’ with its dizzy spittings from Josh Hommes's and Mark Screaming Trees' chemical-soaked lips, really hit where it hurts. They call it a radio broadcast; some radio station that would be...

This record wasn’t made to be analysed. You know what they sound like and if you don’t, why on earth are you reading? I could try and take this record apart and out of context and go on about how important this record is or isn’t or might be in a decade’s time. But right now, with its scruffy rainbow edges, its near-death euphoria and punished-too-many-times blues, oranges and reds; I just want to let you know this isn't a let down. That this is what you want it to be, but it won’t be on listen number one - that listen will sound big, menacing and scary. Your mother (unless she still listens to her Kiss and Bowie records) will not approve on the 2nd and 102nd LOUD listen...

Breathe a sigh of relief - something exciting is gonna happen rather soon! It has to cus if you keep pouring things like this into the worlds reservoirs, it’s bound to start raining quality rock again. Oh children of today, let go, be inspired, play it to your global-culture(less) grandkids via videophone in 2073. It's Sex, Drugs and Rock'n'Roll! Smile that evil smile…