Oh fuck. Now you’ve gone and done it. “Stop sounding like Geneva”, you said: “Be cool”, you whinged. “Bland nineties indie toss” you shouted.

And so what if you were right? Does that make it the right thing to say? Perhaps if you’d thought about it, you wouldn’t have dented their confidence, you wouldn’t have shattered their aspirations, and you wouldn’t have installed that seed of doubt that’s grown and grown in their minds, until they concluded that there was no chance of a career whilst sounding like they pissed the sheets every single night listening to Gene?

And what’s more, perhaps if you’d thought before you criticised, THEY WOULDN’T HAVE COME BACK WITH THIS MID EIGHTIES JOHN HUGHES TEARS FOR FEARS SHIT.

Idiot.