War drums, guitars with the force of a battering ram, hollered vocals and a general sense of atunal anarchy? Why, it must be the new (download-only) single from Be Your Own PET: two minutes and ten whole seconds of rowdy chanting on the subject of a rape and pillage expedition which is imminent because, you see, “We’re on two wheels baby”…

…which seems a tad far fetched to me – I know they’re often found travelling the wrong way up a one-way street, but I’m not sure the state’s yet been led to the verge of collapse because of rowdy cyclists. And I’m actually quite thankful for that: mobs are terrifying enough when they aren’t clad entirely in lycra.

Still, philosophical realism’s never been a mainstay of rock‘n’roll, so we won’t hold that against this single. I might, however, be likely to gripe about the fact that it feels a tad unsatisfying, not leaving much impression in the mind once the music’s over. You press play, and the record rolls… and then it’s finished, and there’s little else to say. For something so full of energy, yelling and threats of violence, it has surprisingly little impact. Throwaway ephemera is all well and good, but when it gets to the point the sole response evoked is “Oh, that was… existent”, it’s possibly time to request something more.