Considering ‘Play Some D’ is the backing music to a mobile phone advert, it’s hardly surprising that it’s annoying.

Released originally in 2000, it’s back out to bland over my day. Its dishwater-dull groove inspires me to half-heartedly scratch my arse, adjust my socks and bite a bit of skin from the side of my index finger. Frankly, it just makes me want to pull it out of the player. A funkless groove, looped for 3:43 with an awful awful female MC laying out schoolyard rhymes. Y’know, that’s all it is. I promise you I’m not being lazy or just using this as a bitching forum.

Dreadful. As weak as piss. It’s pants.

Can this be the same label that Free Kitten and Cornershop are on?