And so it’s the latest in a wide batch of post-everything screw-rock students. It matters not any more to hold a semi-solid structure to form your ‘song’ around, as long as there is some feeling; some passion; some art; some fat bollocks to stand on a stage and wank around on some pretty, sparkly gadget while 200 people stand around and stare in awe as somehow THIS is making beautiful noises.

Youthmovie Soundtrack Strategies are a band. They are an angular band. It’s becoming a joke. Sweaty little fucks, dripping all over the computers they got their student loans for, bleeping and faux-angst screaming their way to stardom… a beautifully deserved stardom. Who do they think they are? You don’t even need to see it. It flies out through the stereo. This is a reason to take these guys seriously.

Do not be bitter. It is an unattractive trait. This is good. Accept it.

With loops and samples, stammering and stampeding through lush harmonies that wash over you with shards of excellence and thunderous cacophonies thrashing your sorry souls with cake tins and murmurs through what are certainly not youth movie soundtracks. I can’t finish that sentence, so I start afresh. Conjure up your favourite post-rock extravaganza band and take away a couple of unnecessary guitars and add minimalist, intentionally disjointed musical allegories and add some crazy electronic bullshit that clearly will electrocute the sweaty fucks and then imagine as much clothing as an artist that digs their own shit… Again, I can’t finish that sentence. This is all in the music. Probably.

There is a certain pretentious beauty about a level abstraction as high as this. But what is pretence when you believe in your pretence? And you’re not pretending. Is that still pretence? Or is it the truth? What you are.

The post- concept is perceived to be the future of rock, and so this is what the majority of bands will look like in times to come. It is a frightening prospect. There are no songs here. To understand that this is all old news is stupid. You think you aren’t stupid.

Additional info: the CD is available from Rough Trade (Covent Garden and Portobello), oxfordmusic.net, and normanrecords.com.