by
Young men, young men young men. Take heed of this sage advice and avoid entanglement in the snare of the fowler. There will be girls and women, fantastic and wonderful and amazing, for whom you are not good enough. They will tower above you on their pedestals of perfection, graciously bestowing their presence on you for both brief and extended periods of time. Listen to this wisdom:
DON'T BE A MORON.
I can't think of a worse way to impress a girl than to fawn over her for a while, get her comfortable and secure and liking you a lot, then suddenly about face and refuse to speak to her, see her or think about her because you're "afraid of being hurt." Fear, cowardice, shame!! What honor lies in fleeing from the face of beautiful pain?? If you are so pathetic and weak that you don't care about shaming yourself, that you feel you deserve it, then yes--by all means, show her what you're really like so she can realize her close call with danger, and doesn't get pulled into your mucky, miry hole.
But if you are a decent human being, if you have a shred of appreciation for the beauty of the world and human interaction, then don't be such a dod-blasted idiot. Be strong and stand up to your fears. Think about it: if you talk to her about your deep, tremulous, vulnerable feelings she might even help you hold onto them and shelter them in her capable hands. At the very worst, she'd get freaked out and dump you and you'd be in the same place as if you'd been a moron anyway. So be valiant and courageous and take the risk of being the one to bear the pain of the fall. Instead of hightailing it as soon as you get the chance and leaving her in the dust with the 3 screaming toddlers, monthly rent payment, and late-shift waitressing job in the trailer park of her emotions.
Especially if you're 26. Especially if you're a drummer. Especially if you live in Minneapolis and meet your Dream Girl at First Ave, luring her from her true friends and sweeping her away with your dashing funness. Kiss my ass.
(NOTE: the above account is not based on actual events and is entirely fictional. It is SO fictional. Yes it is. Shut up.)
