Sunday 25th September 2000.
I woke up at 12 today. I didn't really feel like doing anything, so I wrote a program that offers me a random Noam Chomsky quote every time I run it. Who knows, it might provide some sort of inspiration for a new song. I wrote another poem today, too.

Big Glass Building
Big glass building, standing near the shopping centre
Inspecting the Tesco's car park for people stealing trolleys
Eurgh, Tesco's, corporate scum
I want to steal a trolley
Yeah, that would be good
But then the police would catch me and beat me up
Crushed like an insect
No one understands me
No one understands me

Monday 26th September 2000.
I woke up to the sound of my evil, corporate alarm clock ringing the end of sleep. Precisely 7 days until Kid A is out. Of course, in my single-handed conquest to bring down EMI and their marrow-sucking boardroom bigwigs [all bedecked in Rolex and Gucci, hehe, I said Gucci], I've already downloaded it from Napster. The little Visual Basic program I wrote gave me the following quote: "The public is not unaware of what is happening, though with the success of the policies of isolation and breakdown of organizational structure, the response is erratic and dangerous: faith in ridiculous billionaire saviours who are little more than `blank slates' on which one can write one's favourite dreams, myths of past innocence and noble leaders, conspiracy cults... unfocused scepticism and disillusionment -- a mixture that has not had happy consequences in the past."

It's a sign, of course. My middle class scum-mum is calling for breakfast. I better go.

Tuesday 27th September 2000.
My art teacher called me to one side yesterday. I don't think she was very impressed with my new project. I took a piece of black card and drew a burning airplane in chalk, and then I added logos to it with Tipp Ex. I called it Lucky Gucci Piggies In An Airplane. Call herself an artist; she's a corporate puppet, a slave to the wage. I hate her. I almost wrote a poem about her but she's not worth it. Today's quote is "The real mass media are basically trying to divert people. Let them do something else, but don't bother us (us being the people who run the show). Let them get interested in professional sports, for example. Let everybody be crazed about professional sports or sex scandals or the personalities and their problems or something like that. Anything, as long as it isn't serious. Of course, the serious stuff is for the big guys. "We" take care of that."

I hate the media. Oh, I thought I saw a Radiohead blip on the telly...

Wednesday 28th September 2000.
I wrote a new song today. It's called I Don't Wear Calvin Klein T-Shirts. My capitalist pig dad told me to turn the racket down. He just doesn't appreciate my art. Oh, the lyrics:

I Don't Wear Calvin Klein T-Shirts
I don't wear, I don't wear nothing
Don't buy the right things - Calvin Klein t-shirts
I just don't want to be a corporate billboard

When you wear Kickers, I wear Clarkes [I think their shoes look neat]

Boxer shorts
Perfumes and cosmetics
Kate Moss on the adverts
Calvin Klein smells of wee
And he's a capitalist fascist

When you wear Kickers, I wear Clarkes [I think their shoes look neat]

My mum keeps telling me she's going to take me shopping for some new clothes cause "I look like a scruff". I bet Johnny never got called a scruff.

Thursday 29th September 2000.
I've decided to stop going to the newsgroup. Someone [who I won't name] was stupid enough to say the Kid A was going to be crap. Hardly! I bet they bought Robbie Williams' album. And Billie. I don't care, I told them what I think of them anyway. 4 days to go!!!!! I think the quote program's broken, it won't load. Still, I wrote a poem today.

Battery Chicken
Battery chicken, laying eggs
Laying eggs for middle-class quiches and cakes
Electric shocks
I bet you feel lonely
I feel lonely too
Maybe I'm a battery chicken
Laying eggs for middle-class toast soldiers
Nobody understands me

Friday 30th September 2000.
I got up early today. I don't know why, but I always feel energetic On A Friday [ho ho]. I met a guy on the Internet who said he'd make me a copy of the Manic Hedgehog demo for £20 so I had to send that off today. Tried debugging the quote program but Evil Bill Clinton's fascist software kept crashing. My Nan came around and I played her I Don't Wear Calvin Klein T-Shirts. I don't think she liked it, but then she was born before World War I. She kept asking if I wanted to play Trivial Pursuit... as if I enjoy beating my intellectually inferior family at that rubbish! I played of course... and let her win.

Why do they have sports questions anyway?

Saturday 31st September 2000.
My label slave, media swallowing mum took me shopping today. How embarrassed was I? She didn't seem to understand why I got so angry in M&S. Like *I'd* wear clothes from there! I got a pair of cords, under duress, and a shirt. She doesn't understand me. Still, she DID give me some money ready for Monday... the HOLY day... aaaah! I went to the newsgroup again. More people were saying the new Radiohead album's rubbish. Like they know what they're talking about. It's fantastic. Anyway, I have to go paint a blinking bear on the pocket of this shirt...

Sunday 1st October 2000.
How am I going to sleep? This is probably the most important event since... since... well, ever! OK, so it might be a slight exaggeration but it *is* the best album ever. I burned myself a CDR copy to tide me over. My mum asked me what I wanted the money for and can you believe what she said? She said "Oh, Radiohead, that rock band? Aren't they a bit depressing?" What does she know, she doesn't understand anything. Oh, and I got the quote program going! Hurrah! Today's quote was VERY appropriate... "The smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly limit the spectrum of acceptable opinion, but allow very lively debate within that spectrum - even encourage the more critical and dissident views. That gives people the sense that there's free thinking going on, while all the time the presuppositions of the system are being reinforced by the limits put on the range of the debate."

Suck on that, newsgroup.

Monday 2nd October 2000.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! This is the best album ever! The lyrics are so clever! The music is just light-years ahead of everyone! I can't wait for the next album! Even the quote program was spot on today... "More generally, people have little specific knowledge of what is happening around them. An academic study that appeared right before the presidential election reports that less than 30 percent of the population was aware of the positions of the candidates on major issues, though 86 percent knew the name of George Bush's dog."

The idiots at college had no idea the most important CD ever has just come out! I think I shall sit smugly with my headphones on, safe in the knowledge I am far superior to them.

[Note: The author likes Radiohead, and his views are definitely not those of Drowned In Sound].