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Pass the bucket - pop news to spew to...
jonions by Jeffrey Onions February 2nd, 2005
Run to the hills! Failing that, get down to Boots and stock up on earplugs. You're gonna need them once these c*nts get back on the radio...

Pop brat Kelly Osbourne, famous for her slaughtering of Madonna classics and bonking of quasi-emo 'hunks', is to unleash her second album through Sanctuary.

The as-yet untitled record will emerge like a gigantic turd through a hosepipe in June, and features tracks penned by Pink collaborator Linda Perry. A single, 'One Word', will precede its release. Billboard describe it as a haunting pop ballad. Pass the bucket, f*cker...

The album is meant to feature songs about date rape and teenagers not getting their own way, 'cause Kelly can, like, totally relate.

I've one word for you, Osbourne: C*NT.

Like that wasn't enough spew-worthy news for you, word's reaching DiS towers that funk-pop BASTARDS Jamiroquai are about to sh*t out album number six. They plan to pass the stool sometime in late spring. A world tour will follow in the summer.

Is it possible to chuck up a lung? I fear that's what this is...



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