Ok, what would you do if on a summer walk you were encountered with a drunken Charlatan's on a haystack while Gomez tricycle around them with old Mr O'Neill dusting off his harmonica? It probably would bring a smile to your face, but I doubt you'd stay for Mrs O'Neill to organise the barn dancing. This is the point where I should introduce Alfie...

Please don't get me wrong, I would rather have this than Ricky Martin's vocal torso humping the stereo quite brutally, but if people really think this is what good modern music is someone is really taking the piss. From the chiming acoustic guitar that really cuts with its ordinariness, to the Tim Burgess on skunk vocals to the strings straight out of "A Producer's Cliché's - Beginner Issue", You Make No Bones is everything the scene doesn't need. It's not its lack of edge or power - this is folk inspired music after all - but it's so dry. Songs that are good on their simple delectability are very scarce, New Slang by The Shins being a rare example. This song conjures up nothing for me but the thought of some 20something northern lads having a few down the Ploughman's Whistle then saying "Lets go play a song" and wandering to the local barn. It's perfect for a bit of a jam in the back garden but the fact that people are putting faith in a band like Alfie to do great things is the problem. I would blame NME but that would be too easy. In fact, I ask you all to love Alfie and prove me wrong. I just doubt it could ever offer you much more than a quick pint and a game of Aunt Sally.