Here's just a small selection of what can safely be considered very bad ideas...

- Putting milk in peppermint tea. Herbal teas and milk just don't go together. The combination WILL taste foul.

- Putting up Ikea shelves without the instructions. Such an ambitious project is doomed to start with. Even the most determined of can-do attitudes won't do the trick.

- Trying to pretend you're any good at, erm, freestyle cooking when you really are buggered without guidance or a recipe. You'll end up with pasta sauce made of milk, ketchup and barbecue sauce. And no, that's not tasty.

- Baking cake without a recipe. Because dough will only bake if it has the RIGHT amount of eggs and flour. Otherwise the fucker won't rise and you find yourself spooning what was meant to be consumed in slices.

- Going places with your ex that you're not even supposed to talk to. Especially when you catch yourself having a good time and you're not supposed to, because the whole scenario just IS terribly wrong.

- Shouting abuse at someone and then realising they actually own the place. DO NOT slag off a clubnight to its promoter. Do not stick up your middle finger in the DJ's direction. You never know under what circumstances you'll bump into these people again.

- Slagging off a band to the boy/girlfriend of a band member. Especially when you're aware of that fact. You'll look bitchy, stupid and like a back stabber. The thing to do in cases like these is probably lying through your teeth and slag the band off to whatever random stranger comes your way the next day.

- Using 'hey you, I've been watching you for the past half hour, you had exactly four cigarettes and you look as bored as me...' as a chatup line. It doesn't work. Ever. All it does is make you look like some extremely strange stalker.