Nizlopi's more-irritating-than-Sharon-Osbourne 'JCB Song' is totally outselling Westlife this week, leading to bookies William Hill slashing the duo's odds of making Christmas number one to 15/8.
For some reason, cuntish DJs about the land are lending the 'JCB Song' their support. We live in hope of a surge of Westlife sales come the weekend. No, really.
HMV Singles Buyer Stewart Allan said: "There's definitely been a buzz building around Nizlopi and, while it wouldn't be a complete shock if they pipped Westlife to the number one spot this week, I'd have to admit that it would still come as a bit of a surprise, especially after their stunning 'Record of the Year' success at the weekend."
Yes, Westlife's 'You Raise Me Up' is the record of the year, officially. The first person to kill Vernon Kaye wins a Kinder Egg.
The current odds for Christmas number one (courtesy of William Hill) looketh liketh this... eth.
X-Factor winner - title tba - 2/5
Nizlopi - JCB Song - 15/8
Westlife & Diana Ross - When You Tell Me That You Love Me - 11/1
Keedie with the England Cricket Team - Jerusalem - 25/1
Robbie Williams - Advertising Space - 33/1
Girls Aloud - See the Day - 33/1
Coldplay - Talk - 40/1
Eminem - When I'm Gone - 50/1
McFly - Ultraviolet / Ballad of Paul K - 50/1
Mariah Carey - Don't Forget About Us - 50/1