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Punk-rocker shocker: Gnarls knocked off number one by bland-a-thon
Mike_Diver by Mike Diver June 5th, 2006

The seemingly all-conquering duo of Gnarls Barkley have finally slipped from number one to number two on the UK singles chart, following their label's decision to delete their smash hit, 'Crazy'.

In the year's finest single to date's place is the insufferably awful 'I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker' by former internet star Sandi Thom. Thom, of course, was picked up by RCA after broadcasting a series of gigs over the 'net from her basement in south London.

Despite her single's title, though, Thom's straight-in-at-one effort is a dire, blander-than-a-Mr-Bean-marathon-on-a-nine-hour-flight affair, and about as punk as briefly-popular television boyband North and South. It's proof positive, indeed, that you no longer need a song in your pocket to reach number one; some unrelenting marketing will suffice, so long as it's glossy enough.

Thom, pictured, preaches about revolution on her single, reminding listeners of both the advent of punk and the rise of the hippie. Sadly, her stream of state-the-bleedin'-obvious lyrics would make a ten-year-old primary school poet cringe, and the song's percussion can only be compared to said kid's ADHD-afflicted mates let loose in the cafeteria. POTS AND PANS!

Seriously, I'm gonna have DiS give me some cash to promote sixty seconds of silence: if Thom can go to number one with The Worst Single Of The Year*, then surely a CD full of nothing can, too?

Elsewhere in the singles chart, Embrace's 'World At Your Feet', the official World Cup song for England of course, limped rather miserably to number 38. Tony Christie's 'Is This The Way To The World Cup' whipped the northerners' arses, charting at 11 (although the physical version of Embrace's song is only out today). The Automatic's oddly popular 'Monster' entered at 23, seven places ahead of Michael Jackson' 'You Are Not Alone'.

We suppose he's reminding FM radio listeners nationwide that others share their Thom-induced pain.

*Okay, so that Ill Divo and Toni Braxton duet is actually worse.



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