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Kelly Osbourne: goes to Miami, goes 'dance'
jonions by Jeffrey Onions April 11th, 2005
Kelly Osbourne: face like a saggy scrotum, voice of an acid-swilling harpy and the dress sense of a blind butcher - she's got to keep it rockin', right? Wrong.

Shut Up! she is, like, SO going in a whole new dance direction you loo-sa-uh. After a visit to the Winter Music Conference in Miami, young Kelly has ditched the pop-punk of her past for beats and, um, shit.

"I came to Miami to find out everything I didn't already know about dance music," she told Billboard. Well fuck-a-doodle-do you, and you were there for less than, like, a year or something? Get outta here.

Anyway, she continued: "Take a really good look at what girls my age are doing musically. They're all doing the same shit. I hate being the same. So, I had to do something different - something that I was passionate about."

Unfortunately, she also stressed that the new album is still very much her, whatever that means. Oh, we remember: shit.



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