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Mogwai have again had a wee rant about a less-than-favourable review via their website. This time, Barry Burns has laid into FHM's assessment of the band's fifth studio album, Mr Beast. Read on, do...
"Oooof. Just seen a review of ours from FHM magazine regarding our new album. It's a right stinker but I feel I need to review-the-review and the magazine to even things up...
"Firstly, they refer to Stuart as the 'oh so clever Scottish dwarf'. I can state right now that Stuart isn't clever at all. All Scottish people are dwarves because of the low sky. He (the reviewer) then opines that hardcore Mogwai fans will go onto Amazon and leave it five stars. I doubt if any of our hardcore fans can even type, never mind write a five-star review with a fancy computer on an 'internets'.
"Next big giveaway that he hasn't even heard the album was the fact that he heard strings on the album. Perhaps he enjoys to smoke a crackpipe but I don't recall their being any hint of violins or their owners in our studio. Know your subject. Apparently we make Radiohead sound like the Cheeky Girls. Boom Boom! Surely that's a compliment coming from a New Man who probably wears a handbag and has every Cheeky Girls song on his pink iPod Nano.
"But the biggest kick in the balls for the guy who wrote it was the fact that the he clearly just hates our music (and fair enough, not many folk like the miserable shite we release), but his editor clearly thinks we're okay. The review looks like a 0 out of 5 but instead gets a 2 which is actually not too bad considering the 'Tracks to Download' section said 'None' and the 'Mood to Listen' was 'Suicidal'. What a great use of 17-year-old boys' time this magazine is. If I was the editor of FHM I'd be dead against putting even a shit review of an ugly instrumental band from Scotland in my magazine. They need to stick to the Scissor Sisters and rude pictures of young ladies with articles on how to date rape at the weekends.
"Perverts. Dirty perverts."
