Fuck me, has it come to this?

Christ help us if this is what The Darkness’ legacy is going to be.

See, this lot have had sessions all over the Radio over the last year or so, and have been played by Peel, Lamacq, XFM and Scuzz TV. Supported ZZ Top too. Thing is, this is dire rubbish.

Lumpen distorto-dimwits with a stack of horrible NWOBHM records [that's New Wave Of British Heavy Metal, kids - clever metal editor.] in their collections, The Vaults singularly fail to come up with anything remotely connected to any sort of interesting, exciting or important musical idea throughout this three-track monstrosity.

The Venerable Fast Eddie Clarke himself would find this risible riffing and worse-than-Biff lyrical nothingness unbearable. It’s like a Saxon soundcheck when the band haven’t bothered turning up, so their grunting, hairy, no-soap-til-humlikeshit roadies have to set the levels.

And your mid-paced pissy cover of ’Leaving Here’ is complete shit too. Give up.