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Welcome, dearest DiSsers, to what we’re calling our Special Halloween Feature. Here, for your ears only, we present an exclusive eerie tale, as told by none other than Jarvis Cocker: Rats.

The 14-minute download - a tale from a book taken from Jarvis' grandparents' house, by M.R. James - can be yours to while away a fag break by clicking the link below; left to stream, right to save as your own.

We’d like to thank Jarvis for being so kind as to get involved with our scary Jackanory-style session. For more information on the former Pulp man’s movements, click your way to his ‘Jarvspace’, here.

If Jarvis’ haunting tale gets you in the mood for some ghoulish fun, be sure to get along to DiS’s special Halloween party on Friday – click here for further bloody details.

And don’t be sleeping with the light on: you’re destroying the environment with your irrational night terrors.